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Growing Pains

by Courtney Swain

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1.
Wish Bone 03:57
Underneath the green grass lie your bones Wrapped in bitter tears Brooding on memories A broken but safe home Dreamcatchers line the walls But nightmares have their own backdoors You never said goodbye Or counted your final breaths You didn't see the smoke Drifting down the hall Floating above the carnage Cold toes wrapped in soot and char Naked in hot skin False hope and false moons Your silence screamed night and noon Chiding our prayers calling you home You never said goodbye Still waiting to regret the days Your face was proud and bare Ready to die alone Each speckle of dust bursts into a flame And I'll soon forget where you came from Light the candle at both ends Raise the voices 'til they soar Hearts lift the sky, there the deities From the rubble of your corpse I'll choose only the best Somewhere inside there's a wish bone I'll take it in my hand Walk the miles through the grass Look out to the sea There your spirit is free
2.
Snow Globe 03:54
Here I am in my snow globe It's a tiny place, but I've got plenty of woe to stuff it up to the brim Wind me up Shake me up and down and watch as I twirl The music drags me along I've got a smile plastered on my face But inside I sigh, I'm not sane Not worth it anymore Remember that one Christmas stocking A whole year's worth of thought And all I got was a crappy card With a donation in my name to save the ducks Well I don't give a fuck about the ducks 'Cause I just burned every bridge I got And I never thought I'd be alone Here I am in my snow globe It's been cold and frost for so obscenely long I heard it's warm outside But I can't tell from the bulletproof glass I see the shadows of my buddies outside They've got a smile plastered on their face But inside they sigh, I'm not sane Not worth it anymore Remember that one time we spoke of love And the other million times we sat and stewed As accusations stifled every atom in the house Well, now you're free to go 'Cause I just burned every bridge I got And I never thought I'd be alone Don't be scared of the people Don't be scared of the dark Don't be scared of the people They're just trying to talk Don't be scared of the consequences of speaking up Don't be scared, they're just humans They're just trying to talk Remember that one time we spoke of love
3.
Moon Stalker 04:10
When I came back to this barren town The streets sang louder than my dying ears Stalking the moon across the night Pen and paper let my tongue unwind A werewolf eager to be charmed Learning how to stay in the barn Every ledge calls out to me Throw your legs off my balcony Growing pains, the thickened skin Grew rings around my heart each year The tighter bands were bitter hills I spent a decade Staring back at bedroom walls Now I'm trying to reclaim Every syllable in my name I spent many nightmares Waltzing mirrors in the dark Now where can I rest peacefully Is there a moon stalker colony Where we stay awake silently Watching the world sleep Growing pains, the thickened skin Grew rings around my heart each year The tighter bands were bitter hills Now where can I rest peacefully Is there a moon stalker colony Where we stay awake silently Watching the world sleep
4.
Glitter Bomb 04:47
Red and white ribbons Tied up on highways Birds of a feather flock home As the moon hangs thin Like an eyelash dropped from the sky Swimming in a snow angel Of fresh white lies Steeping my words in a glass of champagne So, where to cold-hearted people go for the holidays If you're not riding reindeer, hanging off a mist of smoke Well, I hope you're having some fun I decided late last night that I'd rather be alone If I can't be with you, I'd rather be alone All I want this year is an aching heart I'll be content just to know that it could beat so hard If you're not waiting, bated breathing by the telephone Well, I hope at least you're having some fun I decided late last night that I'd rather be alone If I can't be with you, I'd rather be alone If I can't look you straight into your eyes Please know there's something inside Underneath the frills and bows And talking 'bout the weather and the wars Tomorrow we'll slip back into being strangers Thoughts stashed deep in journals I just want to burst my heart wide open Glitter bomb your quiet eyes But no, I'll just be alone If I can't be with you, I'll just be alone If I can't be with you, I'd rather be alone
5.
The air between our lips Grew into a thicket I took your thumb and pricked it On a thorn in my side Just to remind myself of the taste of love All the good times Saved in a piggy bank I smashed the glass on the floor So we could rummage and knick our toes Just to remind ourselves of the taste of love Swallowed inside your matreshka Of the sweetest things in your life How are you so sure that I'm the one Our forest grew around the quirks of the landscape Branches tangles as we pulled in closer Weaving a bird's nest that held our tears into a mirror Burrowed in the warmth of your arms The sweetest place I've ever known Close your eyes and we'll be alone And I'll stop twisting the knife now I've never felt like god Save for when I reaped your tears Welling up in sockets A small electric storm Just to remind ourselves of the taste of love Just to remind yourself Our ocean swells around the shores of our choices Rounding broken glass into smokey jewels A school of memories gaze up out of the tide pool Burrowed in the warmth of your arms The safest place I've ever known Close our eyes and we'll be alone And I'll stop twisting the knife now Bleed into the carpet Red's my favorite color

credits

released November 10, 2017

Growing Pains
Songs & string arrangements by Courtney Swain
Produced & Mixed by Vince Welch
Engineered by Bradford Krieger at Big Nice Studio
Mastered by Randy Roos at Squam Sound
Cover illustration by Ellie Gill
Album design by Lois Harada
Track artwork by Kristilyn

Courtney Swain - voice, piano
Abby Swidler - violin
Abigale Reisman - violin
Anna Stromer - viola
Valerie Thompson - cello
Additional vocals on Prickly Thorn by Abby, Abigale, Anna, and Valerie

This album is brought to you from me, but it was only possible with these people in my life:
Vince W. Evan S. Lisa O. Mom. Dad. Judi & my Houston family. Abby S. Abigale R. Anna S. Valerie T. Brad K. Liz F. Chris B. Ben L. Jessica K. Gavin W.A.

(c) & (p) 2017 Courtney Swain

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Courtney Swain Providence, Rhode Island

“A gorgeous blend of overwhelming vocal talent, modern keyboard techniques, and contemporary sophistication.”
— New England Noise

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